MY HEART SPEAKS

What do I know of marriage?

What do I know of commitments and vows made before God?

I cannot tell you how it is to choose someone to spend the rest of your life with. I cannot tell you how your life will change after that. I cannot share to you how it is to live with that someone, bear his offspring, make a family and build a life together. But here's one thing I am damn sure of: It is something to be TREASURED. To be HONORED. To be PROTECTED. At all cost.

I often wonder, what makes people turn the other cheek and betray his own family? How can they willingly enter into marriage and break that promise later on? What does that make? MARRY FIRST, BETRAY LATER?

To say I feel indignant is an understatement. A myriad of emotions - from anger, disappointment to sadness - is sweeping over me. (In fact, I'm trying to control the urge to swear profusely here.)

I can never understand the logic behind these actions. Sure, there are reasons, reasons only morons and cowards have the ability to come up with:

• I felt lonely (really?) and she was the one there for me. (Your spouse would have been there for you too if you just told her about it.)
• We already had problems from the beginning. (Then why did you marry in the first place?)
• We just fell out of love. (Marriage requires falling in love many times, you idiot!)
• I didn't know it was this hard. (Oh, please!)
• I love her/him. This is different. (Hmmmm, of course it is different! The difference is that you cheated your way to get to her/him!)

I think the only reason worth considering is when your spouse is either abusing you or that he/she is a psychopath (like a killer who buries his victims in the basement). Undeniably, there are really those that are amazingly good in hiding their true colors and unleashing it only when you are married already. Of course, who would stay in this kind of relationship where you are treated like less than human?

It all starts with this: TEMPTATION. We all get tempted, sure, there's no denying that. It's fine to appreciate the beauty, to see the thoughtfulness of others' actions, to recognize the good in others but to deliberately seek out their company (in private) is crossing the line. To pretend that you are a single man with no obligations is a serious irresponsibility. I don't want to sound too preachy or too self-righteous here but my point is, if you just unwaveringly take a stand and not lose sight of what's important in your life, then you will not have any problem at all. You will know how to handle these situations.

Yes, you took a risk in marrying that person (even after months or years of knowing each other). You can argue that there is always a level of uncertainty in relationships. Fact is, you can never be sure. But why, oh why, that you have look for it in another person? Why seek someone else's 'loving' embrace? If what you feel for that person is true love, 'truer' than what you have for your spouse, then show some respect and decency by giving her what she deserves. Spare her the humiliation and scandal. Do not dump on her the mess you created. Treat her like how a woman should be treated. And oh, the same goes to your spouse too.

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.' - Corinthians 13: 4-7